A Valentine's Day Card to Everyone....
Where is my own Katharine Hepburn?
As we approach the Hallmark holiday called Saint Valentine's Day, named for a poor, horribly martyred man, I grow introspective. There will be many, many of us who will be alone on February 14th, and that's okay. It lessens us not. It makes us strong, independent and invincible warriors.
I just watched an old, but lovely documentary on Katharine Hepburn and Spencer Tracy, two of my favorites. From my point of view, I always saw what he saw in her, why he liked, admired and respected her, and why he fell in love with her, and why he loved her. I loved her, too, and had I known her, been her friend, I know I would have fallen in love with her, too, and because of the people they were, liked and respected by so many, I would have been honored to call them both my friends. I could see what Kate liked about Spence, too, how she admired and respected him, liked him, loved him as a man and loved him as a friend. And I think their love, combined with their awesome talents, are what made made their wonderful films shine like polished gemstones. They were truly and deeply in love with each other - doesn't matter that he never divorced his wife, Kate was with him until the end. In the final scene of the documentary, she reads a letter she wrote to Spence, 18 years after his death - which followed close on the heels of their finishing Guess Who's Coming to Dinner - just talking to him, asking him questions, discussing life and his body of work. Reminiscing and thinking about all the wonderful memories they shared. The tears in her eyes were real, the emotion in her voice was real. She still missed him after all those years. They were each other's best friends. The letter ends with her saying how she asked him a question, but he wasn't there to answer.
I then considered my own life, reflected back on my 68 years (well, 50, let's say, starting when I was 18), and thought about all the decades of searching for my own Kate, and never finding her. Perhaps I did, but was too blind, too dumb, too self-centered to see her. Or perhaps I wasn't meant to have my own Kate. So I looked back at my life again, all the good times, all the wonderful friends and family, all the love given to me and, hopefully, all the love I gave. Was the love I took equal to the love I gave? I don't know. I can't answer that. Some higher octave of being can and will answer that for me. None of us can have it all. We may look at others and think, "Jeez, they have money, fame, power, success, spouses, children, grandchildren . . . but surely there is something in life they always wanted but never could attain." I've had many dreams in life, and actively pursued those dreams, dreams which never came true. But the dream I now pursue daily, and with a force and passion which often takes me by surprise, is one I never thought I could take hold of, let alone even reach for. I have many blessings, far more than many people I know, and I am eternally grateful for each and every one. In the end, all we can really, truly count on are our blessings, and be thankful for what we have, because there is always someone who is far worse off than we are. In the end, what matters is not wealth, power or notoriety, but the love and the blessings which grace our lives each and every day. So in the end, I may never find my Kate, and at my age, that is something which no longer really matters. All that's important, all that will shine like polished gemstones when I'm gone is the love I've been given, the good memories I leave behind, and the great wealth of family and friends I have been blessed with.
So don't focus on the negative, on the bad. Focus on the good, on the positive. Count your blessings every day and you just might find a treasure chest overflowing with all the things you have, the things you've accomplished in life, the truly important things, and the love you not only gave, but the love you in turn received. Blessings upon you all!